When I started this countdown I was in a completely different place. In the end, there was no ultimate meaning, no epiphany. I thought I was a little more romantic than this, but again, I do surprise myself sometimes.
I'm not disappointed, I'm in a wonderful place. Although the battle had it's ups and downs, I wouldn't trade a lesson for the world.
Life is full of choices. There will always be someone who doesn't agree with you, or like you. And that doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human. Although I'd really, really like to make everyone happy, I can settle for making as many as I can.
It's true, life will go on, and although it's the end of one thing, it's the beginning of many others. I can only hope I'm a fraction as important to my friends, as they have and will always be to me.
I've been working everyday all Summer. A little intro into adulthood, right? Awesome.
I feel like I haven't learned too much, or much of anything really. But life is ever-changing (I'm going to UMass Amherst, by the way.) and new opportunities are ever-awaiting. I'm even taking Swedish and Theatre courses this year! I'm so excited.
I find that I'm a lot less bitter, which is weird because such terrible things have happened since school let out. I spent the last 18 months actively avoiding relationships, totally just like--fuck that. Then this one person came around and it was like, I don't even know. I just don't care, I want them. And it's wild 'cause he's going to be here in Boston, and I'll be in Amherst, but I don't even care. It doesn't faze me. I don't know, it's great.
I went to Orientation for Suffolk 2016, and it turned me around. All I kept thinking was, "Wow! These people aren't even assholes!" But I swear if I hear, "PAAAHK THA CAAAH IN HAAAAHVAHD YAAAHD" one more time I'm going to crucify someone.
In other news, I'm way more chilled out about stuff. People are leaving Boston, and Massachusetts, and it's weird. But that's okay. Hopefully I'll be doing plenty of travelling myself. I'm ready for my future, and I can be wherever I fight to be. Who knows where I'll be headed this time next year? All I have to do is kill it in Suffolk.
Graduation was surreal. I saw people I could have been should have been friends with for the last time. Bittersweet. Interesting. Humbling. I'm thankful for the friends I managed to hang onto throughout my BLS career.
There isn't a whole lot to my life right now (besides working most days so I might be able to take myself to Montreal...). I've forfeited the thought of even having thing even remotely close to a romantic life. Mostly because no one's interesting, and I don't interest anyone. Can't really be disappointed there.
Nothing's really changed at all since the last time I posted here. I'm still stressed; between college and the passive aggressive texts from my ex, I'm kind of going absolutely insane. I've been whining about it a lot, but 2 ipods were stolen from me this month, and I'm still annoyed about it. I mean, I try to justify it in my head, "They probably stole it to sell it and pay for their kid's surgery..." If I didn't, I'd lose the scraps of hope I still have in humanity, haha.
I'm waiting on karma to balance out--a plethora of shitty things have been occupying my life, and it'd be lovely to be pleasantly surprised. I'm extremely limited, though. I hate waiting. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I poked and prodded people to go in the direction I would prefer. No dice.
Furthermore, I don't have any reason to stay here in Boston anymore, it seems. (Don't get me wrong, I still might have to stick around.) I thought I did, but as it turns out, I'm mistaken. I'm so sick of being told "check the friendzone" too. FUCK YOU I AM THE FRIENDZONE.